A deep yawn sounds as light bleeds through the curtains. The man’s eyes slowly open. His feet leave the blanket to find his slippers, and his hand finds his wobbly cane. Limping to the bathroom, he turns toward the mirror. He finds nothing different, but can’t help to stare. He places his hand over his rugged, distressed skin. “What have I done?”

Photograph by Baltic Grphcs
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/68261441@N06/6272779110/)
 

The aging man is me. By then, I’ll have been through a lot, but perhaps not enough. I possess many thoughts and wishes, and hope to achieve certain things. However, some of those things are difficult to put into words. If I had to divide my life into phases, previously, I was in my individualism phase; I realized what kind of person I am, and for what I stand. Currently, I’m in my philosophical phase; sure, I know what kind of person I am, but why am I that person? Every day, I contemplate what I’m doing here, what I should be doing here, and finding justification. It’s relatively exhausting, and even depressing at times, but I believe it’s maturing me as a person.

Now, I could think ideally through my future, elderly eyes, or realistically. The latter only makes sense. After several decades of existence, I will have helped someone. My wife and kids are included, of course, but I mean another; many, many others. Life isn’t easy. I believe one person’s priority is to better the life of others, so that they may do the same. If this thought were followed and maintained, life would exponentially improve.

My contributions to the world won’t all be material. That’s not my desire, for I wish to focus more on the immaterial: love, peace and sympathy. I’m not easily angered. If a car pulls out in front of me, I don’t yell. Yelling doesn’t help. How could it? Even if the driver could hear me, how could shouting possibly better the matter? Instead, I forgive the driver for his or her improper behavior, and it leaves my mind forever. My goal is to always love, no matter whom, no matter what; always love. Hate and anger get us nowhere. Peace to the world. Go listen to Imagine by John Lennon.

Through helping others with the power of love, I should have no regrets, right? Right? Eh, who am I kidding? Living with no regrets is impossible. There will be something I did wrong; something I wish I would have done; something I missed. I admit I’m a bit picky when it comes to friendship. This may have been caused by my time at high school. It was small (fifteen students in my class.) There weren’t many people from which to choose; and those to choose weren’t intellectually or emotionally attractive. There was an unhealthy presence of racism, discrimination and ignorance in every aspect imaginable. So, you might be able to understand that I didn’t have many close friends. Because of this, I was a bit distant and reclusive. I’ve changed since then; I’m much more open and warm, especially since the transition from that place to this intelligent institution. However, I’m still not wildly outgoing, and because of this, I tend to wait for people to approach me, instead of confronting them. If I don’t change this soon, I will regret it forever. I love people; I just need to muster up the courage to meet them.

Made evident in my previous blog, my major has not yet been declared, and neither has my zeal; I am still searching for my passion and my reason. So, for the purpose of this blog, I will discuss a few successful professionals from fields in which I’ve taken interest.

Google co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin are computer scientists and internet entrepreneurs, who met at Stanford and halted their PhD studies to establish the now-massively successful search engine. ”Don’t be evil…You can make money without being evil.” That line sums up Google’s philosophical motto, as well as my own: I desire to live my life as honestly and selflessly as possible, and therefore seek a career which will fulfill that wish.

Ken Levine is the creative director and co-founder of Irrational Games, a game developer. His works include System Shock 2 and Thief: The Dark Project, but Levine is most well-known for Bioshock, an engaging, horrifying thriller set in a strange, dark city beneath the sea. Like most males, I’ve been playing video games since I was a wee child, beginning with Kirby Super Star on the Super Nintendo, all the way through Mass Effect on the Xbox 360. I love video games for the art, for the entertainment, and especially for the storytelling, and that’s why Levine succeeds: he is a master storyteller. Story is the substance of any form of media, whether a game, a news article, a film, or a novel. Story is what draws in the viewer and acts as the incentive to maintain that viewer. If I worked in the video game industry, I’d want to do what Ken Levine does.

Speaking of becoming a storyteller, if I didn’t work for a game developer, perhaps I’d like to be a screenwriter. Film is another passion of mine. I’ve watched a lot of films. I’ve recently become interested in documentaries and independent films, for I’ve never enjoyed mainstream movies like The Hangover or Transformers (overhyped, shallow works made only for money.) Anyway, since I like the art of storytelling so much, why not become a writer for the screen like Robert Rodat? Rodat wrote one of my favorite films of all-time: Saving Private Ryan, the emotional tale of a small group of soldiers in World War II. Did I mention how much I like storytelling?

Sometimes I think I’m just at Tech because I’m good with numbers, and that being an engineer is more within reach than being a screenwriter or creative director for a game developer. Heck, I’d love to be a musician if that were practical. Don’t get me wrong; I love Tech, and I’m glad I’m here, but I have some deep thinking to do.

Within the past year or two, I’ve developed a philosophy. You might suppose that would be synonymous with aspiration. I’d clarify, but I have yet to even reassure myself.

When I submitted my early action application over a year ago, I designated my major: undeclared engineering (not surprisingly, the most common major among incoming RATS.) Since then, I have thought; I have thought ever so thoughtfully. I have researched; so intently have I researched. You might expect my inner monologue to be, “I like math. All right. I like science. Good, good. Well, I’m at Georgia Tech, so that’s a reasonable first step. But what now?” This same monologue has replayed in my head since high school graduation.

So, that philosophy I mentioned: I may have not realized the means of accomplishment, but I’ve acquired an idea of what that accomplishment is. I don’t have much time on this planet. I have to do something, something important. I must do something worth my life. I must do something to help others, and to help the Earth. I must be productive.

Productivity and helpfulness and worth are all relatively subjective, especially the latter. Some believe one should just be a good person throughout life, and all will be well. I certainly agree with behaving kindly, but I think there’s more to it. I can’t just stand here and smile until death! I have to leave behind my mark as well!

Anyway, I think you get it. I want to help, but I’m still figuring out how to help. My exact aspiration may not be polished yet, but I have plenty of inspiration that’s leading me in the right direction.

Qiming captures our first day…

…as well as our initial idea!

Our test shoot! Not astonishing, but good practice.

The skyline!

Clough! In the video, if you watch carefully, you’ll see me slowly scale the stairs.

And the final product!

For Friday’s English class, slackers Eric, Qiming, Andrew and Garrison decided to commit hooky, and gathered instead in the garden-like area on the corner of Skiles and the Library. I found Eric waiting on the bench, listening to music. As we awaited the others, I surveyed the greenery, searching for inspiration. Eric was a step ahead of me. He noted a good shot for our first time-lapse.

Once Qiming and Andrew arrived, the former bestowed upon us his fancily futuristic sight-capturing device. Taking a seat beside Eric, Qiming prepared a timer, lined up the shot, and proceeded to snap pictures of the same bushes and leaves every 15 seconds for the next hour.

During this period, I attempted to help pass the time by playing Joe Satriani and delivering lateral thinking problems to my group-mates. Since I mentioned it, you may take a stab at it:

“A man enters a bar and requests a drink. The bartender pulls out a gun and points it at him. The man says, ‘Thank you,’ and leaves. Why?”

They didn’t find the answer.

Sixty solid minutes later, we’ve captured 240 pictures. At 60 frames a second, that will give us four whole seconds of shrubbery action! We flipped through the shots to get a sense of the result: leaves moved gently with the wind, and shadows shaped and shifted; Andrew was even fortunate enough to acquire a cameo appearance!

The music is practically finished, thanks to Eric’s punctuation. Now we only need video material. Therefore, we’re going to continue work Sunday, taking more pictures and time-lapses, and hopefully progressing enough for a solid first draft.

Troy Davis was convicted for the 1989 murder of Mark MacPhail, a Savannah police officer. Witnesses accused Davis of shooting the off-duty security guard and two others at a Burger King, when MacPhail defended a nearby man from assault. Davis was sentenced to death in 1991.

Twenty years later, several witnesses alleged policemen pressured their implication of Davis, and subsequently recanted their testimonies. However, lack of evidence, Davis’ maintained innocence, and demand for fair trial from Jimmy Carter, one million petitioners, and even Pope Benedict XVI, weren’t enough.

Appeals and clemency were denied, and Troy Davis was executed an hour ago at 11:08pm, September 21.

Minutes before, Davis uttered some of his last words to the MacPhail family: “I did not personally kill your son, father and brother. I am innocent.”

My thoughts: Before Georgia unjustly executes a citizen, perhaps certainty of guilt should be established. Here, there was only doubt, and a potentially innocent man was stripped of his life because of an inhuman policy.

Rest in peace, Troy Davis.

And rest in peace, broken criminal justice system.