My parents got married on October 4th, 1987. Next year, it will be my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. It is also called the silver anniversary. The silver 25th anniversary is a milestone wedding anniversary. And rightly so! Spending a quarter of a century in love with one person is to be celebrated.

I appreciate their sacrifice in time and work to make me a good person and I would like to design a card to show my appreciation. I love them and I hope I can go back to celebrate with them by doing something for them such as cooking them a dinner and singing a song for them. I with they happy all the time.

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I read over the different exercises that Daniel Pink recommended that we partake in in order to fully grasp the concept of empathy in our everyday lives. After considering a few options, I felt the most compelled to blog about “Volunteer.” Now I didn’t necessarily volunteer today or yesterday since the assignment was posted; however, I would like to reflect on a past memory that I decided to take on along with a few other of my friends.

It was summer time in my junior year of high school and me and a few friends had nothing to do. At the time I was actively involved with church and a couple of trips downtown to feed the homeless. I always wondered why we had to go with church officials? Why can’t I just go by myself with a group of friends and do the same work? So I did, and I asked friends to join and they thought it was a great idea. We each pitched in around 5 dollars which accumulated into 60 value meal burgers at McDonalds and 48 bottles of Deer Park water. This was all great and we were doing a great deed because we sympathized with these people who were less fortunate than us; however, Daniel Pink states the the difference between sympathy and empathy is that when you sympathize, you hurt for the individual, but when you empathize you hurt with the individual.

The giving out food end of the trip was the sympathy. This next story I’m about to tell you was empathy. I decided to set myself apart from the group to look around hurt park, which is right next to GA State. As I walked for probably only around a minute, I saw at least ten people with stories on their faces. Suddenly I had this tug on my heart to speak to one of them. It started off with simple conversation and for those who may not know, homeless people are not such a threat. Well some are, but most are very friendly and are just looking for a person to tell their story to. I was the lucky individual who got to hear how one man arrived to be the person he is today. His name was Kenny and he talked about how his family struggled ever since the recession wrecked America and ever since he’s been roaming the streets all across the southeastern United States.

Suddenly, this old man with dark brown freckles on his face transformed into this little boy as I saw tears trickle down his cheek. At that moment, I felt this enormous pull on my heart that told me to continue to reach out to these people and feed them for at least one day of their lives. I actually made a video of our trip in order to promote more trips downtown to feed the homeless and the numbers grew. If you guys want to you can add me on Facebook and my video is posted up there.

After reading the chapter Empathy, I decided to study Paul Ekman.  I went to his website. (www.paulekman.com) First, I briefly read his biography, then I moved on the training section.  Sadly, I had to purchase a training program to learn how to detect the facial expressions, so I just moved on.  I looked through his current projects.  There were some interesting projects like studying body languages of different countries in the world and making emotional profiles.  Then, I read some of his news articles and watched some videos, but they weren’t really interesting to me.  I found out that the TV show “Lie to me” is based on the true stories of Paul Ekman.

As a result of spending some time studying Paul Ekman, I learned that there are people who are really passionate about their field for more than 50 years.  He spent more than half of his lifetime studying facial expressions and detecting lies.  I can never imagine myself doing the same thing for over 20 years, but he did it.  I think he’s a really great scientist and human being because he’s so passionate about what he’s doing.

http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=653&tbm=isch&tbnid=rT3gCsvNmYAeeM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hulu.com/lie-to-me&docid=AzOvyZ8vLzod7M&imgurl=http://assets.huluim.com/shows/key_art_lie_to_me.jpg&w=900&h=350&ei=xX25TpT5JeW22gXtlOWpCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=139&vpy=146&dur=100&hovh=140&hovw=360&tx=227&ty=96&sig=115085359848834604841&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=77&tbnw=198&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:0

Empathy is feeling with someone else.  As I read the introduction of the chapter in A Whole New Mind, I continuously found myself yawning, not because I was bored or tired, but because the author frequently mentioned the act of yawning.  ”Contagious yawning is likely a primitive empathic mechanism,” says Steven Platek, a cognitive neuroscientist.  Platek’s “research found that contagious yawners score high on various tests that measure levels of empathy” (Pink, 2005).  I found this interesting.  I consider myself a contagious yawner but not a very empathetic individual, so for my Empathy activity, I decided to complete Simon Baron-Cohen’s Empathy Quotient test.  I received a score of 40, considered “average” (females scoring about 47 and males scoring about 42).  My score was slightly below that of both men and women.  I wasn’t surprised by my score.  I can easily place myself in other people’s shoes and listen to their problems, but I never know what to do to help.  Also, many people may consider me to be inconsiderate or detached, due to my predisposition to speak before thinking and lack of certain social skills.  I think my score reflects my inability to “help” or “console” others and my independent personality.  I rarely go to others to discuss emotions, therefore, I do not know the actions to take when someone approaches me, except to just listen.

Another activity suggested in the Empathy Portfolio is the “Spot the Fake Smile” question test on BBC. I took the test a year ago and received a 100% on detecting fake smiles.  Further supporting my reasons for my EQ score.

I couldn’t apply many of the empathy concepts to careers not involved in healthcare and law, compared to the other concepts discussed in the book.  However, I found it important that empathy is a factor in many of the other concepts, such as story and symphony, that can be applied across various fields.  Empathy is required to connect to your audience or your consumers.  Understanding what they are feeling can assist in the development of new products and the treatment of patients.

Want to know how empathetic you are?  You can take the Empathy Quotient Test at the link below. Try and see what you get!

http://glennrowe.net/BaronCohen/EmpathyQuotient/EmpathyQuotient.aspx

I didn’t find many of this chapter’s activities interesting (or doable, for that matter), so I performed a few.

Systematizing Quotient

I answered questions such as, “Do you normally notice a song’s structure?,” to which I replied “Definitely agree.” Out of sixty questions, I scored a 45, which is above average. This proves I love details.

Empathy Quotient

This was similar to the previous test, though the questions were more focused on empathic behavior and thoughts. I scored two points higher than the average woman, which met my expectation.

Spot the Fake Smile

I watched twenty individuals smile, and was tasked with determining which smiles were genuine. Utilizing Pink’s strategy, I payed close attention to the person’s eyes; if the skin nearby was particularly wrinkly, I supposed that the smile was sincere. This tactic proved successful, for I chose correctly sixteen of the twenty times.

Is the following smile for realsies? You decide.

Finally, I thought I would share an unintentional occurrence of eavesdropping: A week ago in Woody’s, a stout black man, in some way professionally affiliated with the dining hall, walked past two female students, and turned to inappropriately (and relatively blatantly) view them from behind. A female cook subsequently shook her head and said to him, “What did I tell you about that?”

I believe I was the only student to spot this incident. His behavior is unacceptable.

After reading Dan Pink’s chapter on Empathy, I was especially intrigued by the practical application of empathy on everyday life. Empathy is important in the business world for example because it allows a person to connect with an employee or co-worker on a personal level. This personal connection yields a tighter relationship between two people. In business, as we know, personal relationships with an abundance of people can be the determinant of success.

Additionally, I found it interesting that something as simple as the incorporation of empathy into nursing has the ability to be the difference between life and death. Hacking into a person’s current emotional state and being able to fully understand the “why” behind its composition is essential to a successful nurse. However, empathy comes in handy in other areas of life as well, including being able to help out a friend during a rough time. The best advice you can give a friend often arises when you attempt to put yourself in their shoes and think “what would I do?”

As I finished up the chapter and came to the exercises, I had an easy time choosing which one to perform this time around. I picked the first exercise as I was curious as to how empathetic I was and how well I could decipher a fake smile from a real one. I performed the smile exercise first. I scored 14 out of 20 correct. Not horrible but not fantastic. I tried to pay attention to the rise in cheek bones and contraction of the eyes to indicate a real smile. It worked most of the time. Next up was the Empathy Quotient. Surprisingly, I scored the exact average for a male: 42. I expected to be a little above average, but I suppose empathy is an area that I could always improve on.

Finally, I performed the Mind in the Eyes Test. I scored a 31, plenty satisfying. It said if I scored over 30, I am “very accurate at decoding a person’s facial facial expression around their eyes.” This is a skill I am grateful to have as it will definitely come in handy throughout life. Being able to read a person’s emotions based off a facial expression allows accommodation without having to directly inquire about a person’s emotions.

In class today, we began discussing the psychology behind decision making. In high school I studied the work of Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. They researched people’s personalities and how they effect a person’s one-on-one interactions as well as how they work in a group.  Personally, I learned a lot about my own personality and that I should be more understanding when working with groups because everyone thinks differently. I would like to encourage everyone to take the Myers-Brigg Test and research their personality type. Following the link is my reaction to my personality type.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

After taking the Myers-Brigg survey, I was confused and disturbed. According to my results I am a 56% extrovert, 25% intuitive, 1% thinker and 78% judger. The last two numbers shocked me the most. How could I be a 1% thinker? I think through everything. I had no idea how I got a 78% in judging. I always try my best to be levelheaded and not jump to conclusions about anything. Needless to say, I hated my results even though I had no real understanding of what they meant.

I was relieved as we I researched what the different words and percentages mean. The letters ENTJ started to become tangible to me as I saw how they represented my personality fairly accurately. I learned that I make decisions with my emotions more often than I think- even if I do rationalize them. This is the reason for my 1% thinker. I feel for other people and want to give them the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, I am a very rational, rule following person. I become very afflicted when put in a situation where I have to decide another’s fate because they did not follow procedure. I also learned that it is not a bad thing to be a judger.  To have a high score in judging means that I follow deadlines, like structure, I am goal orientated and I have to-do lists everywhere.

I realized that this survey did quite accurately depict my personality. I am all of these things and from time to time I do switch it up. I also realize the importance in understanding my personality type as well as the people I am working with. I like to brainstorm out loud and at a quick pace while many other people brainstorm internally and like to think about it longer. Neither way is better than the other and in order to work or lead a team I have to recognize the differences between people. Lastly, I have noticed that my results reflect what I love to do and what I want to do as a part of the career I chose. I enjoy working on a problem, figuring out the unknown and then presenting my findings to whomever I can get to listen. While I am not sure exactly what career I want, I know that I need to find something that will work well with my ENTJ personality.

Photo Rights: Kelsea Shriver

After reading the meaning section of Daniel Pink’s book I decided to perform the 20-10 exercise.

If I inherited $20 million, no strings attached, would I spend my days the same way I spend them now?

The answer to this question is yes. My father told me once that money can go away from one’s possession from one day to another. In the other hand, nobody or anything can take away a good education or the things you learn. So yes, even though I inherit this amount of money I will remain studying at Georgia Tech to become a professional Mechanical Engineer. In other words, the way I will benefit from this amount of money is that I am not going to be worried about college economically.

Also one thing I will do immediately with this amount of money is that I will give a fraction of it to my dad so that he could better his private business. I will do this because my dad’s business is suffering changes from the economic crisis today and by doing this I will be thanking my dad for all the years of extremely hard work to maintain our family to the fullest of his capabilities.

Finally, when I have had finished my education career and when I am settled with a job I will certainly give a part of the $20 million dollars to a charity in my hometown in great need.

If I knew I had at most ten years to live, would you stick with your current job?

Well right now I am starting my college career. What I want to do in my educational career is to become a mechanical engineer and then obtain master’s degree. Time wise, this will take me at least six years. So yes, I will continue studying till I have finished my educational goal. I think it is worth the time because the experience will make me become a better person and I am going to study what I have always enjoyed in my life.

I know that I will have extra time during my educational career. I will spend the extra time with my family because for me family is extremely precious and time spent with my family is of great value. Also, after the six years of education I will do as many community services around my hometown and probably in other parts of the world that are in great need because I think that in this way is how I can be as more productive to the world in only a four year period.

After performing the 20-10 exercise I have noticed that my life would not change that much in either hypothetical situation. I think that this means that the life that I am having till today has a big meaning behind it.

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Image was created by me using the Microsoft Paint editor program.