After reading the chapter of Meaning, I decided to carry out the last exercise named “Picture Yourself at Ninety.”

I want to begin my blog with the quotation from Daniel Pink’s book.

“Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now.”                                                                                                     – Viktor Frankl

This exercise arouses my interest. I remembered last time there was a website which you could upload your current photos and it would display what you would look like twenty years later. The result terrified to me. To be honest, I could not imagine myself with all the wrinkles on my face. However, time is taking away our youth no matter how much we fear about aging.

If I were ninety years old, I would have had a big family. Probably my grandchildren would have their own children by then. I hope my children would come by and visit me once a month. More preferentially, some of them would like to accompany me and take care of me. I would live in a peaceful countryside with azure sky, green grassland and colorful flowers, which would bring peace and happiness into my heart.

When I sat in an armchair and reviewed my past life, I might feel regretful towards some things I had done when I was young. However, I would be thankful to those things happened to me regardless of what they brought about to me. The past was what made the present I.

Lastly, I would like to share with you a paragraph in the book How the Steel Was Tempered. I read the Chinese version of this book in primary school. I am so impressed by this quote that I memorized it at a very young age.

“Man’s dearest possession is life. It is given to him but once, and he must live it so as to feel no torturing regrets for wasted years, never know the burning shame of a mean and petty past; so live that, dying, he might say: all my life, all my strength were given to the finest cause in all the world──the fight for the Liberation of Mankind”
― Nikolai Ostrovsky, How the Steel Was Tempered

The 20-10 test is a question used to identify what is important to you in your life.  The test proposes a question of what would you do with $20 million dollars or what would you do if you only had 10 years left to live.  The whole idea is to discover if you are currently living your life the way you want to live it.

When faced with the possibility of unlimited money we are relieved by our limitations in our life.  We could do whatever we wanted to do.  We would have no excuse not to be outgoing and adventurous. If we are asked with the question of what would we do with ten years left to live we are restricted by a time limit on our life.  We can no longer put off our dreams.   We are forced to take immediate action.

We then examine our answer and compare it to how we are living our life currently.  This will be an indicator to whether we are happy and have purpose.

If I had $20 million dollars I would first graduate from college because I highly value a good education and a good work ethic.  I would then travel the world and visit all the must see wonders of the world.  When I would return from my excessive traveling I would want to do something meaningful with my money.  I would make a donation to charity.  Maybe I would donate to help cure cancer.  I wouldn’t want to waste all my money on myself (assuming that I even could).  I would want to stay busy in my life.  I couldn’t just sit around in some big mansion enjoying all my excessive materialistic items.

I like to think that I am currently happy with my life because I am getting an education.  I am studying about things I want to learn about.  I am having fun with friends and meeting new people.  And later in my life I will try to make a difference.  I want to give back to society.

 

What about you?

Answer the 20-10 question for yourself.

 

What is your purpose in life?

When I was reading the assigned part of the Pink’s book, I could  not move on to the next page when I read about “But out” exercise. It fascinated me at a single glance. Recently,  I have been struggling with my time management. Procrastination was the biggest enemy since I restarted school after few months of senioritis in highschool plus 3 months of vacation.

“Exchanging and for but can move you out of excuse-makingn mode into problem-solving mode.”

This line came as a fresh innovation in thinking to me who always self-defend about his laziness. So I decided to make a list of what I thought about recently:

And here is how they transformed:

I could come up with solutions to the first two problems successfully. I looked for a way to do both things at the same time, visiting family and earning credits. I decided to take some summer courses online at GPC while in Mexico where my family is. For the second problem, I decided to make some Spanish-speaking friends more to develop my language ability while not taking a class separately. However, I could not find a solution for the 3rd problem…

If you can help me with my 3rd problem, please leave comments.

As an almost 19 year old, I like to think I have a pretty good grasp on who I am as a person. However, the rational side of me knows that we are constantly forming new opinions, evolving and growing in our identity. At the beginning of my junior year of high school I wrote a paper on where I stand as a person. Now, reading that essay I can see how much I have grown in only a couple short years. For this reason, I thought it would be interesting to picture myself as a ninety year old and reflect on how I think I will feel about my life and my accomplishments for my meaning exercise.

November 25, 2082:

Today is my 90^th birthday and what a glorious ninety years it had been. As I look back on the years that have flown by, I wish I could say that there were no regrets. However, there are always those opportunities that we allow to pass us by and people we should have hung on to a little tighter. I will never forget those summers in grade school I spent with the boy down the street. I wish had written him when he went off to the war and visited his mom more after his funeral. That family was so good to me. I regret not following my real ambitions after college. That consulting job was Deloitte was impressive but emotionally unhealthy.  I wish I had forgiven my sister for the things she said. The three years we did not speak were some of the hardest of my life. But I suppose there is not much I should regret because without the mistakes I made I would not be the person I am today.

I am extremely grateful to the family that never left my side and the best friends that walked into my life right when I needed them. I could not have imagined finding a more perfect man to spend my life with. John stood by me, supported me and encouraged me all through the years. I never would have been able to start my own not for profit without him. The 72 years we have spent together have flown by and I could not have asked for anything more.

Parker, Cade and Blake: my pride, my joy and my everything. Raising those three kids and watching them flourish in each of their own unique ways is the highlight of my life. They all grew up to be smart, athletic, independent and genuinely sweet adults. I am not quiet sure how I managed to be so lucky to have had the three best kids in the world! And I haven’t even started talking about my grandkids! Thanksgivings with all 23 of my grandchildren gallivanting about puts a gigantic smile on my face. They are all beautiful and perfect in their own way.

The last 90 years has bestowed so many blessings upon me. God truly has a plan for everyone. I know that without His grace and the support of those around me I would be in a very different position than I am today. Life is one hell of a journey full of ups and downs and surprises at every corner. I am glad I learned to embrace the best of times and preserver through the dark times. My 90 years of life have proven to tell my story and depict the meaning I find in life.

Writing this sort of autobiography was weird to put it simply. Rereading it now, I see how many subconscious ambitions and regrets I worked into it. I imagine this is because I have a feeling that I am going to make certain mistakes and I hope I will reach certain goals. Daniel Pink concludes the description of this chapter with a quote from Viktor Frankl that’s says “Live as if you were living for the second time and has acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now.” Through reflecting on what I wrote from a 90-year-old me perspective, I know I will probably find meaning through family and my faith in God. Beyond that, I know I will mess up and regret some things but I have now pointed out areas that may be problematic so I can try to avoid them. Hopefully as I move on in my life, I will strive to keep meaning in everything I do.

Picture Credit: http://thenapalmassault.blogspot.com/2010/10/elderly-are-assholes.html

Every once in a while, we all need some time to be quiet and reflect. Daniel Pink’s “Meaning” activities, while simple, provided me with the perfect opportunity to rest this week. Last night, after reading his section on “Meaning”, I took an hour to sit down and do one of the things he suggested, which was to read a religious/philosophical text. For about one hour late last night, I sat down and read through about half of a translation of Lao Tzu’s Daodejing, one of the world’s major Daoist texts. While I may be a Christian, there is no reason why this should stop me from appreciating the thoughts of this great man, and reading his poetic writings always becomes somewhat of a meditation for me. I find that the verses of this text always empty my mind, leaving me feeling fresh and renewed, and I almost read the words not for their meanings, but rather for the sounds they make and the things they symbolize. I find the meaning of these verses to lie less in the text itself than it does in my own self. Here is an example of one of my favorite verses:

Thirty spokes meet at a nave;
Because of the hole we may use the wheel.
Clay is moulded into a vessel;
Because of the hollow we may use the cup.
Walls are built around a hearth;
Because of the doors we may use the house.
Thus tools come from what exists,
But use from what does not.

On top of that, when I woke up today I decided to take Pink’s advice once again, and take a Sabbath for myself. When I skip classes, it’s usually to catch up on sleep so that I feel better physically, but when I woke up this morning, I realized that I needed mental rest much more than physical rest. After I had that thought, on a whim, I skipped all of my classes today except for this English class this afternoon, and spent my day outside in the sun, reading and playing guitar. The difference it has made for my mental health is amazing. After just a little bit of time spent alone, quietly doing simple yet enjoyable tasks, I feel so much more relaxed, and I feel like I can handle anything the world throws at me.

 

Source: http://www.chinapage.com/gnl.html#11

I read the last chapter of Dan Pink’s A Whole New Mind yesterday, and thought about which activity I should perform. I like all the activities because they show different ways to lead me to the meaning of my life. At last  I chose the “but out” one. Here are some sentences I wrote:

I ‘d like to be with my family, but I am studying in another country now.

I’d like to do more physical exercises to make myself healthier,but I am not so determined.

I’d like to study harder,but comics,cartoons,music…(everything except studying) attract me more.

I’d like to eat better,but I always have sweets.

I arranged these sentences in the order of increasing importance for me. Then I replaced every word but with and, just as what the book tells me to do:

I ‘d like to be with my family, and I am studying in another country now. So I can call my parents maybe twice a week when I am still studying here. During the breaks, I can go back to be with them.

I’d like to do more physical exercises to make myself healthier,and I am not so determined. So I can’t be so lazy from now on. I can find a partner to do physical activities with me then we can supervise each other.

I’d like to study harderand comics,cartoons,music…(everything except studying) attract me more. So I can make rules for myself about entertainment and studying to restrain surfing on the Internet or watching cartoons.

I’d like to eat better,and I always have sweets. So I need to avoid seeing the desserts intendedly.

The result brought by this activity surprised me. I know the changes I’d like to make clearly but I am not sure the reasons why I haven’t made any of them(or why I am still stick to some bad habits). When I was typing“…but I …”, I realized I hadn’t thought about the reasons at all! So I thought it over and over again and found actually there were always some kind of ways to solve the problem or to make the current situation better. By substituting “but” with “and” and the following “so”, I figured out how to fix them. The three things I listed above are all meaningful to me. My family, my health and my study. I think about them nearly every day. However, I only thought about the problems and how they made me frustrated, but neither why they were causing  so many concerns nor how to slove them.

If you want to find out why you are sticking to so many bad habits and how to make it better, I really recommend you to be critical and do this activity. List the problems one by one to see what you can do to solve them, and also, to develop a new way to pursue the most meaningful life for you.

I feel obliged and urged to do some tiny but really meaningful things after reading Dan Pink’s Chapter Meaning. I’m frustrated to find that my life now is actually messed up. I must find a way out. But…It’s just my first semester in college. The classes in Georgia Tech are challenging. It’s the first time that I ever lived in a completely unfamiliar country. I am an international student and I have to overcome my lack of competency in English. What’s more, I’m just 18 years old! It is absolutely impossible to make great change in my life.

No! I don’t want these excuses to block my way anymore. I have to kick these annoying excuses out and pursue gradual perfection in my college life. I decided to do the “But Out” exercise so that I can first change myself by setting some achievable short-term goals.

• I’d like to sleep more so that I can keep active (even…awake) at class, but I cannot finish my homework.

• I’d like to eat less so that I can live a healthier life, but I can never control my appetite.

• I’d like to practice my oral English, but my friends are all from China and we usually communicate with our mother tongue.

• I’d like to be better involved in campus life and get to know more people, but I am too shy to talk to strangers.

• I’d like to achieve a 4.0 GPA at least this semester, but I’ve already done poor in CS and ECON in my second midterm. What’s more, my ENGL grade is still B now.

• I’d like to read more so that I can get better inspired, but I rarely have time besides my school work.

Now replace the word but with the word and:

• I’d like to sleep more so that I can keep active (even…awake) at class, and I cannot finish my homework. So I need to be more efficient — spend more time studying in places with fewer distractions such as library or residence hall learning center so that I can concentrate better when studying.

• I’d like to eat less so that I can live a healthier life, and I can never control my appetite. So I need to work out more — go to CRC or the work-out in my basement at least 3 times a week. To better execute the plan, I’ll find a friend to work out with me so that we can stick to the plan with each other’s supervision and encouragement.

• I’d like to practice my oral English, and my friends are all from China and we usually communicate with our mother tongue. So I need to start speaking English even with Chinese friends — make a compulsory contract with some friends to speak English whenever we meet.

• I’d like to be better involved in campus life and get to know more people, and I am too shy to talk to strangers. So I need to join in a few organizations and attend the activities regularly. I’m already a member of Women in Electrical Engineering (WECE) and Mobilizing Opportunities for Volunteer Experience (MOVE). From now on, I will attend the regular meeting for WECE and participate in more MOVE volunteer work.

• I’d like to achieve a 4.0 GPA at least for this semester, and I’ve already done poor in CS and ECON in my second midterm. What’s more, my ENGL grade is still B now. So I need to do even harder and better during the rest of this semester. It shouldn’t be hard to keep doing well because I’ve only registered for 13 credits this semester. I am determined to, first, attend the Help I’ve Fallen session every week to get myself improved; second, think actively at class and finish the reading on time for ECON; and third, start working on the TED Talk project for ENGL as soon as possible.

• I’d like to read more so that I can get better inspired, and I rarely have time besides my school work. So I need to start right now! Why not start with the new book Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson and expect more inspiration from the giant?

Hopefully I would be a totally different myself at the end of this semester.

Dear Dad,

I cannot begin to thank you enough for all that you have done for me to become the man I am today. You have supported me, motivated me, encouraged me, and taught me for the past 18, almost 19, years of my life. I have always looked up to you, not only as one of the smartest men I know, but also one of the bravest men. In elementary school and through high school, I was one of the few students who could say fought for our country in Operation Desert Storm and for that I am very thankful. Your service to the military gave me an appreciation for the men and women who protect our country and it gave me courage to face my fears.

Not once as a child did you belittle me or discourage me from being, whomever I wanted to be, rather you were my largest supporter. In soccer I would constantly be angry that you held me to a higher standard as my coach than any other player on the team. However, in my later years after you had moved to the sidelines as my number one supporter I realized the values that had taught me. You taught me to never take anything for granted and to always outwork those around me. As an athlete you made sure I knew that I was not the most naturally talented individual, you made me realize in sports and every other facet of my life that in order to succeed I needed to work harder than the person next to me so that I would be the best.

Last year as I approached my 18th birthday with work still to be done on my Eagle Scout project, you were the one who constantly nagged me. Everyday, you reminded me that I still had work to do. You refused to allow me to let eight years worth of work to go to waste. Each and everyday you let it be known that I had both the skills and opportunity in life to succeed and that I needed to take charge; you forced me to become a man.

The most important gift that I can thank you for is the support and opportunities you provided me. Fresh out of business school, you stayed home to raise Ian, myself, and the newborn Gabrielle. You sacrificed your career to help raise the family, because you knew that it was the most financially sound decision to allow Mom to continue to work. More importantly however, you instilled in me that I could do whatever I wanted in my life that whatever college I wanted to attend you would pay for, no matter what I studied. You gave me the opportunity to follow my passions and become, who I was meant to be.

The gifts that you have given to me may never be repaid, they are too great in number. I hope this letter can begin to show you the gratitude that I have.

Love,

Devlin

I asked my dad to read this letter via Skype last night and he became very emotional as he finished it. I have seen my dad cry only twice in my life, the day his mother died and after he read this.

This week’s reading in Dan Pink’s book was about Meaning. What he said in this chapter really made me think about what I am currently doing with my life and if I am really going in the direction I would like. One of his exercises was to imagine yourself at ninety years old. Although this is not the exercise I chose to do, it still made me think. When I’m ninety I want to be proud of what I have accomplished during my life, not disappointed because I did not pursue my passions. I want to look back and tell myself that I did a good job and that I stood up for what I believe in and didn’t make excuses. I thought the excuses part was really important, so I decided to analyze certain things in my life right now that I am constantly making excuses for using Pink’s “But Out” exercise. The first part of this exercise is to come up with a list of things that I would really like to do but usually have an excuse for:

• I want to get a good GPA, but Georgia Tech is a very difficult school.
• I would like to work out at the CRC more often, but I am always either too busy or too tired.
• I would like to go to church more often and grow spiritually, but I usually have too much work to do and don’t take the time.
• I would like to be more efficient in doing my work, but I easily get distracted, especially online by things like Facebook.
• I would like to earn a lot of money and be successful in the future, but I do not have a college degree.

Next, I went back and replace the word “but” with the word “and.”

• I want to get a good GPA and Georgia Tech is a very difficult school. So I will need to work extremely hard and not make excuses for myself in order to accomplish my goals.
• I would like to work out at the CRC more often and I am always either too busy or too tired. So I will go to bed earlier and make a schedule of times when I am going to work out and stick to it.
• I would like to go to church more often and grow spiritually and I usually have too much work or don’t take the time. So I will set apart some time to go to church and work the rest of my schedule and homework around that.
• I would like to be more efficient in doing my work and I easily get distracted, especially online and on Facebook. So I will need to make myself focus on homework and studying when it is time for that and then allow myself to go to other sites after my work is done. It would also probably be a good idea to not have Facebook set as my homepage.
• I would like to earn a lot of money and be successful in the future and I do not have a college degree. So I should work my hardest to get my degree in the shortest time possible (without killing myself) and get out into the professional field.’

After turning my excuses into problems that needed to be solved, it was actually quite simple to see how I could avoid making these excuses and go forward with doing what I intend to do. Now the real test is sticking with these goals I have made and not just taking the easy path out and continue with excuse-making. I believe that if I set my mind to it, it will be possible and I can accomplish these things that will add more meaning to my life.

20 million dollars is a lot of money, and 10 years is a lot of time. I’d be 29, and when you say it that way it suddenly feels like less time.

10 years ago from now I was 9. Now I’m 19. And those ten years went so quickly, but so much happened. I don’t want to regret anything I do or wish I’d done something that I hadn’t. But I also don’t want to dwell on the past, just take every day as it comes to me and make the most of it.

So what would I do in the future? I don’t know. I can’t plan 10 years of my life, but honestly I’d want to continue living the way I do. There’s a reason I live this way. And that’s to build on my life experiences.

As much as I want to say I’d drop out of college, I don’t think I would. College is a life experience. It’s supposed to be among the best years of your life, and building  yourself, having an education and grades to work towards gives your life meaning. 10 years is a long time – there’s no need to drop out of college.

I may transfer – I may move somewhere else. I may transfer multiple times, hop around – see what I like – no pressure. Maybe move closer to home and be near my girlfriend and family. But I’d keep studying – I’d get a degree – I’d get a job.

So I’d first put $200,000 in a savings account for my  brother. That’s how he’d go to college. I’d give my mother ownership of the account and then pay for the first two years of his college. The other two is up to him to earn, and if I feel he strongly enough is willing to do anything to go to college, then and only then will I pay the second two years. I don’t want him to take it for granted.

I’d pay off my mother’s debt, add some comfort and settlement for my grandmother.

In my free time I’d do what I’ve always wanted to do. I’d go skydiving, take a trip to Africa, travel the world. Backpack through Europe (although I’ve sort of done this already), and try to stretch my limits by doing stuff I wouldn’t consider in the past.

I’d buy myself a car for college. An old porsche. And use the money to pay the expensive parking fees.

I’d buy my mom her dream house in our hometown of Hilton Head. Make her life less stressful because of everything she’s given up for me.

And I’d place most of it in a savings account. I wouldn’t go crazy spending it. I’d spend more than I would if I didn’t have it, but I’d try and invest the money and build on it.

And I’d donate $2. Not sure where.

After I graduate, I’d travel the world, live somewhere strange. Maybe Brazil (I have family there). I’d go to the world cup, and attend the olympics.

If I meet the right woman, and I’d get married. Is it selfish to say I’d have kids? I’d just want her to understand my position but know that I can provide for them long after I’m gone.

It’s tough to say exactly what I’d do, but I’d want to continue my life the way it’s going without the question of “should I do this or not?”. Just do it – have the experience.